Me

Oh dear, what to say? I am pretty normal middle class housewife except I don't read the Daily Mail and am not prone to ending angry letters with 'disgusted of' type soubriquets. I am not terribly interesting actually but here are a few fairly pertinent facts about me that will no doubt be hitting a Google somewhere near you soon.

1.I was born in Scotland, which is terribly dreary. My parents absconded when I was a baby and left me in the dubious care of my maternal grandparents. I did not have a happy childhood. We moved to England when I was eleven and I have been here ever since. I guess this makes me an immigrant.

2.I do not have a Scottish accent.

3.I have a degree in Art History from the University of Nottingham, where I wrote my dissertation about Marie Antoinette.

4.I have never done anything with said degree due to apathy, lack of ambition and other such factors.

5.I am married and have a son, who is lovely and another on the way, who will probably also be lovely.

6.I am a red headed, (lapsed) catholic, Scottish, breastfeeding, vegetarian, Art History graduate and am therefore no stranger to public ridicule, insult and finger pointing.

7. I have a secret passion for chick lit.

8. I have a phobia of sharks.

9. I like making lists.

10. I am obsessed with eighteenth century France. To a worrying degree.

11. I am not a goth. At all.

12. I love photoshop.

13. At the moment my ambitions are to finish my rubbish novels, do an MA in Art History and move back to London.

14. I used to be in the Sealed Knot. We don't talk about that any more.

My wedding day on 13 October 2006. I was a bit drunk. We didn't have a formal wedding, because we aren't really That Way Inclined. It was a lot of fun.

The birth of Felix on 25 April 2005. I look awful but Felix is gorgeous. Labour was grim but short - an hour and fifteen minutes with only gas and air and no stitches or anything! Go me. Isn't it awful how women feel the need to tell the world this stuff? I don't care though. This is my Greatest Achievement!

Sitting in a car park by Clifford's Tower in York, will lead to gurning incidents.

More hideous gurning.

More hideous gurning.

On honeymoon.

The atheist and I at Tintagel on the first day of our honeymoon.

I think I was pregnant with Felix when this was taken. I must have got over the spotty stage by this point.

This was taken while we lived in our first flat together in Brislinton, Bristol. I loved and hated that flat in equal measures.

We had just been to a goth gig and I was feeling a bit bolshy and self disgusted, probably.

I am a huge, HUGE fan of MAC make up. This is loads of their green pigments.

Me on the atheist's 24th birthday, 25th April 2006.

In front of Mrs Queen's house.

Working.

Hideous gurning.

More hideous gurning.

Russian Red.

The Sealed Knot stage.

Cloveley in Cornwall is a weird place. It makes a big deal out of being all cute and quaint but you have to go through the most ugly and repulsive gift shop and visitor's centre ON THE PLANET to get to it.