Oscar

My beautiful redheaded baby boy.

14th January 2008 - Woo, I am pregnant again. I am not telling anyone except the atheist, Felix, Hester and Elizabeth though as I don't want there to be a whole huge drama if I miscarry and I just can't face disappointing people again.

It is very early still. I did a test because I was feeling sick and sore and just generally more tired than usual, but I didn't expect it to show anything. In fact when the extra line didn't immediately appear I just put it down on the edge of the bath and stomped off to make myself a drink, while all the while...

I can't let myself be excited or even happy yet. I just can't. We had two disappointments last year and it would be awful to be so let down again. I don't know how I should be feeling now - probably just quietly optimistic. Hopeful. It must mean something that we are apparently so damn fertile mustn't it?

God, please let this baby be alright? Please?

If all goes to plan then the baby will arrive on around the 26th September and I will reach twelve weeks on the 14th March and twenty weeks on the 9th of May. Oh and if this one does the same thing as Felix and goes exactly two weeks overdue then it will be born on my birthday!

I hope this works out. I really hope this works out.

A little bean.

15th May 2008 - Another beautiful, perfect little boy.

Oscar and Felix already make a cute double act. It isn't always easy but Oscar already loves to watch Felix as he plays and Felix is an adoring and attentive big brother.

I am so proud of my family.